Flourecent Lighting or Work of Satan?

As I stare at my reflection in the full length mirror, I find myself wanting to sob... or vomit, whichever comes first. As I turn to stare at my ass, which I thought was comfortably placed into the most goregous jeans ever, I feel as though I've gained about forty pounds since I walked into this fitting room. Then, it hits me. How could I be so naive? Flourecent lighting is the creation of Satan!

Tell me I am not the only woman who has ever noticed this: you're shopping at your favorite store, pulling jeans and dresses off of racks, making sure the sizes are just right and remembering that you have the same exact pair of dress pants in brown at home, when you decide to make sure everything fits "just right." You make your way down a hallway lined with fitting rooms to a stall in the very back of the store. You go in, you strip down, you pull on those perfect jeans (with ease, mind you) and just when you think you're about to experience euphoria when you look in the mirror, "WHAM!" You see a pig stuffed into a denim blanket staring back at you.

Honestly, what in the Hell is up with this?! You would think retailers would have wised up by now. If you want your customers to buy the damn clothes, you want them to feel like they look good in those clothes. Not like they've gone from being relatively in-shape to morbidly obese in the ten seconds it took them to walk from the floor to the dressing rooms! Don't get me wrong, a lot of the time I will still buy the clothes I like the most, regardless of what I see in the mirror... but that's only when I remember that flourecent lighting is evil and most of the time the mirrors are too.

I pride myself on my fashion sense. I have my "off days" when I don't exactly feel like doing my makeup in its entirety and don't feel like shaving my legs, but overall, I feel that I have a relatively good grasp on the world of fashion and I know what I like. Apparently, I also know what I don't like... FLOURECENT LIGHTING! Retailers, please, take heed for a moment: I think you may actually sell more merchandise if you took those God foresaken bulbs out of your fitting rooms and replace them with something more flattering... like runway lights or even a spotlight. Anything would be better than what we have to deal with currently.

So... as I make my way out of the fitting room, Buckle jeans in hand, I just keep telling myself as I make my way to the check-out: I have normal lighting at home... I have normal lighting at home... and if for some strange reason these jeans really do look that hideous on me once I get there, that's what store credit is for.

God bless the man who created the return policy.

Introducing the Freelance Fashionista

Go ahead... try telling me the title "Freelance Fashionista" doesn't sound interesting. It caught your attention didn't it?

I'm the "Freelance Fashionista." I chose this title for three reasons:

1. I love fashion. Anything and everything having to do with fashion. It's an unhealthy addiction that, frankly, I would rather keep!
2. I'm a freelance writer. I write on so many different topics, it may make your head spin. I know it makes mine spin... and I'm the one doing it.
3. Domestic Diva was taken... shocker.

So, this is me... this is my blog. I have two more "serious" blogs I write that are geared more towards the serious-minded, career oriented, high powered "suit" types. This blog is for the lighthearted, fashion loving, carefree, and candid individuals who have expressed their disappointment in my taking down my previous personal blog. Well ladies and gents... I'm back! My stories are candid, twisted, slightly odd... and all completely true. If you don't find humor in what I write, then you're obviously taking life a bit too seriously.

I'm a mother of a toddler, a full time employee, a full time student, and a full time freelance writer/business owner. Yet, I still find the time (and motivation) to write for enjoyment. How many of you can say that, huh? I'd bet my clothing allowance that you can't! (And based on what you already read, you know that my clothing allowance is near and dear to me!)

So, this is me... this is my blog... take it or leave it. Enjoy (if you so choose) and leave some love. Feedback is a writer's best friend! Most of us (and I stress most) welcome critisizm. Bring it on!